I have had many things rolling though my mind of late but your posts – taken as a whole – have caught my attention. Now understand, I am a Jew who has never been to an AA meeting, but the issues are universal.
This summer we were on vacation talking to a friend – a once a year see on vacation friend – who happens to be a Rabbi and he made reference to my religious period. It was to my mind a bit mean-spirited, but had an element of truth. A decade ago I had a religious period – we would attend services regularly and that has clearly waned.
There is much back story I could write – a protestant wife, various churches and synagogues, even scandals, but they take me to far from where I need to go.
That evening Carrie pointed out that our Rabbi friend had unwittingly hit on something. I have had periods of religion, but never faith. I have sat in Temples and Churches and have given great thought to many things – a meditation of sorts. Frequently they are serious things but often the mind wanders back to the mundane, the surroundings a mere back drop.
I have written of my difficulty in letting go – a control thing. Faith requires letting go –trusting with one’s soul what a head cannot grasp. I see some around me who are there. I see so many more like me, mind fidgeting, eyes darting: the eyes – always a good window when the soul is involved.
So Flip, please do not apologize for your tales of AA, for your beliefs and faith. These are good things, lessons for us, goals to aim for. I am grateful – jealous, but grateful.