Friday, December 22, 2006


My daughter Anna and I are the coffee drinkers and since she moved back home, it is our common bond. She bought me an auto-grind Cuisinart for my birthday and every night I clean it and load it for another day. She as the earlier riser gets to push the button.

The only debate concerns beans. She likes the Starbucks style – bordering on burnt – and I am slightly less intense on the matter. Recently I tried some new beans – too mild for her so we are using them up during the week and saving the Starbucks for the weekend.

Last night I came out to Anna. I have yet to figure an easy way – it always comes down to a declarative statement: I am Gay. All of the feints and moves cannot avoid the ultimate sentence. She listened, somewhat impassive, no tears, no anger: stunned I suppose. After I said my piece, Carrie and she went to Anna's room – the famed basement – to talk privately. The hour they were downstairs was an eternity for me – what were they saying, what was Anna thinking.

Finally they emerge and Anna sees me in the kitchen. She looks around the counter and asks where the Starbucks beans are: she says, with a wistful smile, she will need the Starbucks – the stronger beans - tomorrow. I tell her I know: they are already in the machine. We both smile.

And in that moment there was the comfort and knowledge of a lifetime. She is still my daughter and I her Dad. That will not change. And for that I am grateful.


Spider said...

Enjoy that cup of coffee - it will be your first honest one with your daughter - and it should taste better than ever...

The "Heckler" said...

Wow! What a way to close out 2006!

Your honesty and bravery never ceases to amaze me.

Believe me, Nate, this will serve you well in the coming year.

All the best for a healthy and prosperous 2007-

The "Heckler"

Jenika said...

Hurray! I'm soooo happy!! Enjoy your coffee!