Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Sad News

Many years ago, when I was an active blogger not only did I write, but I occasionally read and found myself in a community of fellow bi/gay married types all on different portions of their journeys and not all having the same destination. As quickly as it all appeared it faded, as seems strangely appropriate for a special moment in time.

There was one person who stood out for me – Spider. He was years ahead of me in the journey and took the time to reach out to me, not to stroke me but to call me out, provide a reality check in what was, and still seems to be, a time of unreality in my life. When I wrote about living in the basement and staying out late – very late (okay, once returning the next morning) he emailed me, not a public flogging but a private moment. He thought 1 AM was fine, enough time for a drink and a grope, but later than that was an insult to the woman who now occupied the master bedroom. Of course he was right.

And then there were the posts that he did, described in a post of mine from four years ago. To me it was monumental; to him not a big deal. He met some homeless guys in his hometown and took them to his home – a sandwich, a shower, and a washing machine. They did not move in but left there refreshed. Many of us were moved and told him so.

Then a period of silence on his blog followed by the news – he had gone to the Doctor with one complaint and discovered that he had others, a sick man at a young age. Occasionally there would be some update but ultimately quiet. I had tried emailing him a few times at the beginning – some moral support but never really had the opportunity to thank him for his efforts; I can be a bit high maintenance yet he was patient in his support and more importantly in his critiques.

Last night I received an email with a link to another blog:
I was sorry to hear of the passing of Brett. Brett was a local blogger (and dear friend) who wrote “Spider’s Web in Thornton Park.” His health had been failing and apparently he fell, hit his head, and a blood clot formed in his brain. I was told the surgery for removing the blood clot was successful, but he never regained consciousness after the surgery.

A sad day indeed.


Brad said...

I'm sorry, Nate. I got the phone call a few weeks ago and did not email you. My apologies. I received this email from Brett a few days before he died: "Just want u to know I am always thinking of u and Justin - hugs".
That is so typical Brett. Always thinking of someone else. Anyway, I didn't reply as I was busy with my volunteering duties and I feel really guilty.
I hope he knew that I will always think of him as well.
Take care, Nate.

Paul said...

It's was through Spider's web that so many of us became acquainted.

I feel fortunate that I've been touched by, and gained a lot of understanding from, friends in blogland. A few I actually met -- including you -- but many I only knew through their postings.

I remember once trading emails with one such friend that this was like group therapy.

Indeed it is.

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