Sunday, September 17, 2006

Pinky Swears

Recently as we all know I made a pinky swear with a cyber-person who goes by the name Rabbit Lady. Now the Rabbit Lady sent me a very nice gift – an iVibe Waterproof Vibrator under the condition that I give her a blog mention and the link to her web-site. I have given a mention and link – actually twice already – but in my heart I know she was not looking for an essay on the delivery or my reaction upon opening the box. She wants to know what happened when the seal was broken, the batteries went in and… okay – and when the Rabbit went in. This is what sales are made of.

I confess – that level of detail is a little uncomfortable for me and I did technically meet my end of the bargain. However I have never been one to hide substance behind form, so I will write of the machine, because a fine piece of machinery it is. But before I write I need to digress if only for a moment. It is clear that I take my word seriously, even pinky swears to a stranger. Yet the true promises I have made – fidelity to a marriage - lay at my feet in tatters. There is more to be said here, much more, but it is for a different post.

Rabbit Redux (with aplologies to John):
When I first laid eyes on the
Rabbit, I was struck, I was in awe. What a machine. What a large machine. Presumably wonderful for women, but not for a guy like me. It was intimidating.

Then last week I broadened my horizons. I bottomed – the real thing. And it was good. So when I next laid eyes on the Rabbit I was emboldened. Still trepidation, but no longer terror. And as the fates would have it, a house to myself – not an everyday occurrence in my life. Out came the AA’s – all four of them – and out came the KY and I was ready – nervous but ready. I studied the controls – I think there are small planes with less complicated yokes – and thought I understood them. One can guess what I did next and it did feel good. The thing moves in all sorts of pleasurable ways. But considering the heft, considering the four AA’s, it seemed a little timid in its power. After my fun – and fun it was – I studied it further and realized I had been confused. Pressing “ON’ does make it vibrate, shimmy, twist and turn. What I did not realize that pressing “ON” again and again and again and again just ramps that baby up.

I thought there had been a blast-off while the engines were still idling at the gate. Possessed with this new knowledge, I did have to try again. WOW. That thing has all the power I need – hell, all the power I could imagine.

I suspect that if my wife were to try it she would have quite the ride. But if she does none will know. I have come to understand certain of life’s limits. So I can only speak for myself. Having taken it out of the garage for three test drives, the Rabbit is a keeper. And from my current perspective – the perspective of wanting to repair a broken marriage - that is a good thing because in the long run I suspect my pleasure of that sort is likely to come from the Rabbit.

Rabbit Lady – it has been a pleasure in all ways, my pinky swear is complete and so are my discussions of
Godspeed to you.


Paul said...

I'm quite impressed. You take your promises seriously.

Paul said...


I find it hard to believe that you give such a dramatic and positive product testimonial, but you get no comments from the peanut gallery.

Perhaps, it's all off-blog?

Or is everyone too embarrassed?

Surely this viral campaign from the Rabbit Lady is producing smart returns.