I was looking forward to a post about music – the life changing aspects of the iPod, how an extended family (mine) has come together with our music sharing project.
Then came another night of talking: the evenings are okay, but the 4 AM to 6 AM slot is murder.
KA brought us some books. It took her a little while to find the right ones – the fundamentalist female preacher discussing Satan and Lucifer (and I thought only the Rolling Stones used that name) is interesting but not particularly relevant.
One of the books that Amazon kindly delivered yesterday was Dual Attraction – Understanding Bisexuality. Now I have to confess when she first went on the book shopping binge, I was not truly supportive: it seemed I guess too clinical in nature. Now that I have read the first 70 pages, I can admit to being wrong. This book is clinical – a study of hundreds of people admitting to being bi in SF in the 1980’s.
What struck me is that my own definition of being bi exists beyond myself, and is rather common. They discuss sexual feelings, sexual activity, and romantic feelings on a scale of hetero to homo. Clearly on the first two, I am bi. However I do not have romantic feelings for guys – an aspect which makes it difficult for me to define my bi-ness. Their survey showed that bi men typically rated themselves much as I do – a very low romantic piece where as bi women rate themselves as having significant romantic feelings to the same sex. I am still working through the book and will have other thoughts I am sure.
After writing the above, I discussed it with KA and she did correct it on one point. I rated myself as being much closer to hetero, with a dash of bi if you would, on the sexual feelings. She points out that considering I have spent years now masturbating to gay fantasies, my self definition is disengeious. She is, as usual, right.