Yesterday my wife had tea with her friend. She told her what's new in our household - kids are fine, weather's good, husband's bi. I had previously expressed my view that she needed to speak with her friend - isolation is a bad place to be. My wife tells me the conversation went well - more than a little surprise, but much support.
We have also always felt you never ask someone to keep a secret from their spouse - it is just plain wrong besides never working.
My wife just called. She spoke with her friend today. She told her husband, our friend, last night. This normally unflappable person dropped the plate he was holding. Rumor has it that he is okay with things and we have not lost these friends.
Of all the steps on this strange journey, this had much more impact on me than I would have imagined. I have not seen them, was not a party to any conversations, yet there is now a harsh reality. It is no longer a private matter enclosed in our four walls. In at least one small corner of our lives, I am out. Seems like the genie is just warming up.
We will soon be off for the long weekend. We will stay with my sister. It will be peaceful. There will be time to have some wine and talk. I do not know where the conversation will lead - I harbor fear and dread. I want to say I'm feeling liberated, but there has already been too much lying to myself this week.