When I'm Gone

Thirty years ago today I sat in a McDonalds parking lot with my friend and we heard three Phil Ochs’ songs in a row on WNEW. We looked at each other. We knew. Phil did not get three songs in a row. Phil was dead.

He hung himself in Far Rockaway – the basement of his sister’s house. He was a piece of Far Rockaway - my home town. He played a Eugene McCarthy benefit in the local movie theatre a few life times ago.

There is a story told of the early New York folk scene. Phil Ochs goes to Dylan’s place and Dylan plays him a new song – Mr. Tambourine Man. Phil is needless to say blown away. A few weeks later Dylan plays him another song – a B side at best – which Phil pointed out. Dylan never spoke with him again.His body of music contained a folk side but also a dark side.

One song in particular – When I’m Gone – speaks for itself.

There's no place in this world where I'll belong when I'm gone
And I won't know the right from the wrong when I'm gone
And you won't find me singin' on this song when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't feel the flowing of the time when I'm gone
All the pleasures of love will not be mine when I'm gone
My pen won't pour out a lyric line when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't breathe the bracing air when I'm gone
And I can't even worry 'bout my cares when I'm gone
Won't be asked to do my share when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't be running from the rain when I'm gone
And I can't even suffer from the pain when I'm gone
Can't say who's to praise and who's to blame when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

Won't see the golden of the sun when I'm gone
And the evenings and the mornings will be one when I'm gone
Can't be singing louder than the guns when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

All my days won't be dances of delight when I'm gone
And the sands will be shifting from my sight when I'm gone
Can't add my name into the fight while I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't be laughing at the lies when I'm gone
And I can't question how or when or why when I'm gone
Can't live proud enough to die when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

Farewell Phil