Around six months ago when I decided to pursue having sex with other men I needed an anonymous e-mail account and decided to use Yahoo. After much thought I decided on a “cutesy” descriptive name – Bibydays, a clear reference to when I was looking to hook up. I then learned about blogs and once again with great concern for my anonymity and not great thought of anything else used that name for my URL and display name. Hell, I didn’t even realize back then they did not have to be the same.
I openly admit – I did not like the name when I started and like it even less now. When I told KA about my blog, I was embarrassed by the name – an ode to infidelity if you would – not by the blog itself. At this point many things have changed including my self definition.
The name Bibydays is a clear statement of not being Bi by night. I guess I assumed that I was “cured” in a sense when I got home. (I am a glutton for punishment and have issues with letting go). Well, it seems I am Bi – whether I hook up day, night or never. My discussions with KA are no longer whether I am Bi –we have moved on to how it impacts our life (measurably), is it realistic that I will not hook up again (questionable),which family members I may come out to and when (my sister and niece, sooner than later).
Anyone who has e-mailed me knows my name. I do not sign Bibydays to personal correspondence. The problem is that I do not have a common name – if I was a Mike or Bob or Joe it would be easy – I would use my name. I do not.
The thing is that my Blog is no longer a transient thing – I have much to say and hopefully you will continue to choose to be part of this aspect of my life.
So I cannot change my URL and it will continue to be http://bibydays.blogspot.com/ and I have no issue with my Blog’s title – I am bi, married, white, male, and still have a few tales left in me – but I will no longer be signing as Bibydays. I have decided to come as close to my reality as possible while maintaining a degree of discretion. With apologies to the singer formerly known as Prince, I am now Nate, the blogger formerly known as Bibydays.
A rose by any other name…