Monday, March 20, 2006

"Bi" Any Other Name

Around six months ago when I decided to pursue having sex with other men I needed an anonymous e-mail account and decided to use Yahoo. After much thought I decided on a “cutesy” descriptive name – Bibydays, a clear reference to when I was looking to hook up. I then learned about blogs and once again with great concern for my anonymity and not great thought of anything else used that name for my URL and display name. Hell, I didn’t even realize back then they did not have to be the same.

I openly admit – I did not like the name when I started and like it even less now. When I told KA about my blog, I was embarrassed by the name – an ode to infidelity if you would – not by the blog itself. At this point many things have changed including my self definition.

The name Bibydays is a clear statement of not being Bi by night. I guess I assumed that I was “cured” in a sense when I got home. (I am a glutton for punishment and have issues with letting go). Well, it seems I am Bi – whether I hook up day, night or never. My discussions with KA are no longer whether I am Bi –we have moved on to how it impacts our life (measurably), is it realistic that I will not hook up again (questionable),which family members I may come out to and when (my sister and niece, sooner than later).

Anyone who has e-mailed me knows my name. I do not sign Bibydays to personal correspondence. The problem is that I do not have a common name – if I was a Mike or Bob or Joe it would be easy – I would use my name. I do not.

The thing is that my Blog is no longer a transient thing – I have much to say and hopefully you will continue to choose to be part of this aspect of my life.

So I cannot change my URL and it will continue to be http://bibydays.blogspot.com/ and I have no issue with my Blog’s title – I am bi, married, white, male, and still have a few tales left in me – but I will no longer be signing as Bibydays. I have decided to come as close to my reality as possible while maintaining a degree of discretion. With apologies to the singer formerly known as Prince, I am now Nate, the blogger formerly known as Bibydays.

A rose by any other name…

4 comments:

Dane said...

Welcome to the make-believe names club! Here's a membership pamphlet and there's some punch over there...

This is how utterly dumb I am. Not until reading this post did I realize your handle was bi-by-days and pronounced the way you meant. I thought it was pronounced bibbiedays and had some esoteric meaning.

Brian said...

I'll miss Bibyday. It had the aura of a superhero. You know, Clark Kent mild mannered news reporter by day, but... Oh well all things must pass.I guess I have to find an appropriate image for Nate from now on.

Nate said...

If I had thought of the image you present, I may have kept the name. You make it sound much less sordid than it felt.

I could do a CL thing - you know - height weight proportionate, a zillion inches... but that does not seem in the spirit of where I am going

woe said...

Welcome to the world Nate. You are truly a pleasure to have around.